So, I hear this awful moaning. I turn the corner and run into this. The writhing elk looked up at me and I'll be damned if the thing wasn't crying. "Help me. Help me," it whined in elk talk. But, I'm like, "I'm not high enough on the evolutionary spectrum to help you. Consult the chart and find a penguin. Sucka." Besides, I'm not about to put myself in danger's way for some glorified cow.
