Okay, check this out.  You put this vacuum cleaner device on your head. Inside the vacuum cleaner are three old rusty blades whirling about at oh, say, three, four miles per hour.  The hair gets sucked upward, and ultimately tangled hopelessly in the flowbee haircutting system. The blades keep turning, and rips the scalp from the head, tearing it to shreds, leaving a bloody pulpy mess behind.  On the bright side, you only need to use it once.