Okay, today I crap on all things Jessica Simpson. This is what she looks like without make-up, minutes before jamming her tongue down her pedophile stalking husband's mouth, seconds before the taping began on her terrible reality based TV show, which still isn't bad enough to be as crappy as this crappy ass television show was in its heyday.  If she used my REDTONGUE products on her show, I would say, "No longer is she crappy. She is a super genius responsible for curing what is wrong in the world today."  But today she is crappy,  She makes me vomit blood, and turns my stool green, which ain't good.